The Regiment
Date: Saturday, February 25 @ 13:36:15 EST
Topic: Action Game Reviews


What the fuck? Why are all these pile of shit games being released? It seems Konami wanted to follow suit with Lockdown and make another tactical shooter for retards.

Graphics: Ok I'm going to get right down to it... the graphics are plain shit. There is nothing special about them and infact it looks like its using the Quake 3 engine. The character models are fucking boring and theres basically nothing to them. LOOK SOME BLUE OVER SOME POLYGONS! Wow man thats totally a uniform. The enviornments can vary. Outside of this building on the first level you are like hey not bad... then you go inside and say to yourself why did someone smear shit all over my screen? All the textures are low-res blurry piles of ass indoors. The enemies all look like abunch of douche bag teenagers trying to look cool. Not to mention the model for them is just pure hideous. Worse of all is the model for the hand holding the gun. It looks like you are a fucking gimp with a broken hand trying to hold it.


Sound: Ok the sound is basically just boring as hell and quite easily forgetable. Everything is just there and nothing stands out because its all just generic crap. The only thing that was good is the gunshot sounds werent half bad. They didnt sound like i was throwing a BB at a wall like in that shitstain of a game Lockdown. The voices for the characters are just crap and they play the same sound so god damn much im going to cut my fucking ears off. This game is a shitstain as well.


Gameplay: This is the most arcadey cumstain tactical shooter i have ever played. First of all there is two modes arcade and simulation. They should just label them both shit because thats all you are going to get. About the only difference between the two modes is you don't get a hud in one. WOW GREAT JOB GUYSS! Of course the placement of the enemies is shit and they are in the same damn spot every time you play. Also because the AI is so sweet they never move. They just stand in the same position they are in and either duck or stand up. Its basically like trying to shoot at a retarded kid with no arms who is trying to pick up some candy off the ground. No need for any tactics either and the iron sights are basically useless as you can get headshots galore with just the crosshairs. Actually you dont even need the god damn crosshairs you could just guess and get a headshot. Then the characters will constantly yell at you "MOVE IN THE ROOM" SHUT THE FUCK UP. Ill move in the god damn room when everyone is dead you shithead. Basically the tactics the fellow AI characters want you to use is hurry and fucking die and i think this was implemented on purpose. You will die right away so you can go straight back to the main menu and quit this pile of shit game. For some reason i can't ever go on to the next mission in this pile of shit game no matter how many tims i beat the first one in arcade/simulation mode. Awesome!


Story: HEh story in games now days? Its something along the lines of some fag terrorists are doing some shit and you should stop them. No one can think of a good story anymore now days and if you can't you could atleast steal it from a book.

Easy, boring, why was this game even made? 3/10





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