Hellforces
Date: Tuesday, August 16 @ 20:41:38 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


This game is of course a low budget title made by some unkown developer. This turd of a game is the exact reason they should stay unknown. Infact, it is rumored that hellforces sucks so much dick NASA is calling it a blackhole. That doesnt really make sense so fuck you.

Graphics: Ok so this shit game tries to use pixelshaders and bumpmapping to try and pass it off as a decent game. This might have been possible if the fucking artists didnt have austism which they clearly do beause the models in this game are shit. The textures are also really grainy. Its like everyone in this game said "hey lets make our city out of fucking sandpaper then paint over it!" Great fucking job! I love grainy low res textures. As you go farther in the game you can see it look shittier and shittier as the art direction goes to hell. There was no art direction either... they just got abunch of fucking retards together and said here rub your tiny penis across this keyboard and see what you can make. This game looks like utter shit... thats right a cows fucking utter took a shit and out came the graphics engine for this game. The weapon models also look like blantant ass. The AK looks like they stole the model from some user made model for cs. Its big shitty low res texutres block. The shotgun model is also a fucking joke and infact all the models are jokes. The game is also dark as hell to where i have to put the gamma way up to see anything. They tried to hide their shit fucking game by making it really dark.... didnt work for doom3....so combine grainy textures, crap art direction, shitty modelers which leaders to shit models and then slap some bump mapping and pixel shaders on top and you have this great game.


Sound: Wow the sound in this game fucking blows. First of all the voice acting sounds like they paid some fucking poor ass bum off the street to cough up his teeth into the mic for some zombie sounds. The music is pure ass... its so bad im not even sure if it had music. The voice acting itself was just plain awful. Its almost as bad as the first dungeon siege. Its just so pitiful you feel these fucks should be paying you for listening to them speak. The weapon sounds are all garbage.... there really is no way to describe it. All the sounds in this game are just really fucking terrible.


Gameplay: I have never fucking played such a hidieous game before in my life. The controls feel like clunky as fucking hell. Its like im controlling a fat ass who is choking to death on a bag of cheetos. The weapons are all completley unpowered and pretty much complete ass. I didnt know it takes fucking 4 shots to the head to kill a zombie. BUT OH LOOK you can blow pieces out of them! Who the fuck cares because you seem the same god damn zombies over and over. Then all the sudden you teleport and you are in some garbage fucking alien world for no reason where you are killing aliens...... and going absolutley no where. The AI is shit... infact its so shit that it kills itself. They basically only shoot and you and stand still..... they sometimes roll to the left or the right. WOW GREAT FUCKING JOB! Especially when they fucking roll off the edge of a platform. Or the guys with rockets if you get too close they will shoot the ground and kill themselves. I beat the first boss this way. Thats just fucking sad. The programmers for this game should realize their fucking life isnt worth living because they made this game. This fucking terrible game is the reason why emo kids exist. ITS PURE SHIT!


Story: You start off being questioned by some homosexual in the basement of a crack house. Then they tried to throw in some max payne art style in there with some comics but that failed miserably... which is why they only did it once or twice throughout the shit which is this game. The story is your girlfriend is a fucking crack addict and you want to save her from a drug dealer. WOOO GREAT GAME. Though you kill your girlfriend because she becomes and fucking cyborg and then you go for revenge on some guy who is teleporting through aliens worlds. I think the story in this game speaks for itself.

Oh my god.... what a fucking elephant turd this game is 0/10





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