Dungeon Lords
Date: Tuesday, May 10 @ 19:40:22 EDT
Topic: RPG Reviews


Well i was waiting for a game like this since i enjoyed gothic 2 because it kicked some good ass. Although this opposite of ass kicking. This game does no ass kicking at all and infact causes suicides in teenagers. This game fucking sucks dick.

Graphics: Why would they even make a game with such completley shitty graphics. They are so incredibly bad that it doesnt even make sense why the fuck they would do that in the first place. Hey developers instead of making the graphics for the ps2 and porting them to pc WHY DONT YOU FUCKING DO THE SMART IDEA of CREATING IT FOR PC then REDUCING THE GRAPHICS FOR PS2 OR OTHER CONSOLE. So great ready to walk in a world of shitty looking low polygon models, low res textures ALL OVER. This game has atleast 3 fucking times more low resolution textures than doom 3 does. They all just look like complete shit. The animations on the models are also dog turds. The guy fucking jumps 10 feet in the air like hes trying to fucking cover a grenade. Its so fucking stupid looking. He extends all his arms and legs out and magically floats forward! What garbage... not to mention the water does not have pixel shading and some green fucking fecal demon took a dump in it. This game looks like someone squeezed out a fucking horse turd on my monitor.


Sound: The sound is guess what... OH MAN ITS GARBAGE WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT. The fucking speech/voice-overs in this game are fucking horrible. But thats not the bad part. For some reason EAX Seems to be enabled in this game and EAX is a piece of shit.... but theres no way to turn it off! Great so now i dont fucking hear sounds when i should and other such garbage. EAX is fucking terrible and creative should be shot in the face for creating such utter garbage.


Gameplay: Here is where this shitfest really shines and by shine i mean hopefully they will shine a laser in your eye so you dont have to play this heap of fucking cum blobs anymore. So the action is SOMEWHAT similar to gothic 2 except boring as hell. You can block and swing and maybe cast some magical spells bullshit. Thats about it. THATS ALL YOU DO the whole fucking game. So when i was creating a character you know you get your stats and such bullshit because its an rpg. Well ichoose human male and there is tabs for customizing your look... but for some magical reason you never can! Thats fucking awesome it just skips right over character customization. Although who really gives a shit because the gameplay in this game is COMPLETLEY boring and its like staring at a harlequin fetus the whole time. Edit: Oh yeah i forgot to add, which i just remembered, that there is no fucking map at all so they just leave it up to you to find where the fuck to go..... not only that the fucking quest system is all messed up and sometimes doesnt even give me the quests.. what a piece of shit. Everything in this game is complete ass... the combat is just so completley awful.


Story: You are walking then all the sudden some cunt slap at a camp gives you a message so you have to go to the city which is negative feet away. Its so fucking close there is absolutley no reason they had to send a messenger because the guard thats at the city would have just walked 3 feet and talked you. But even though you have business in the city you cant get in so you have to go through the sewer. WHEWWW THE SEWER... now let the shit graphics and boring gameplay ensue. Get ready to format your hard drive because this game is a wrist-cutting good time *cough*.

Boring gameplay, poo graphics, crap story = 0/10





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