Call Of Duty: United Offensive
Date: Monday, September 20 @ 20:16:57 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


A FUCKING kick ass expansion to an ass kicking game. This time there is better graphics with more explosions, more death, larger maps and lots more killing of nazi skin heads.

Graphics: For the using the Quake 3 engine the graphics in this game are still pretty damn good. I can run everything on extra detail at 1280x1024 with 2xAA and it all runs damn smooth. The maps are also WAY FUCKING BIGGER WITH SHIT AND EXPLOSIONS ASS AND TITIES FLYING EVERYWHERE WITH FUCING BULLETS WHIZZING THROUGH PEOPLES HEAD BLAM YOUR DEAD AAHFHAFHa. Also the explosions and smoke look WAY better with a damn well detailed texutured. There is also alot more going on, on screen, tons of trees with guys, tanks, my penis, and shit lying all over and its damn good looking to me. Espically when you get into Russia the CITIES ARE FUCKING HUGE.


Sound: This is fucking call of duty, you have to turn up your 5.1 sound until your cat fucking explodes all over the place. The audio is just the damn best there is, all the voice acting is good, the bombs, guns, explosions, planes, everything just sounds damn crisp with bullets and shit richoeting AND BLOWING OFF YOUR EAR AND BLOOD SPRAYS EVERYWHERE AND YOU DROWN. Thats how damn good the sound is


Gameplay The damn same except with more action and dead bodies flying around. Hell the game starts off you running from some germans on a truck while you are blowing the shit out of abunch of guys with a 30cal. YOU FUCING KNOW that its a good game when the first 30 seconds you are shooting abunch of germans with no questions. The missions all kick ass every single one of them, there is tanks and artillery and explosions and shit flying up in the air like trains. The best mission in the entire game is the mission you are in the plane. You fucking run around shutting off engines, shooting other planes while your plane is getting shot to shit. Its so awesome that i shit a brick and it hit one of the german planes. You can use the Dorsal or rear guns to blow the shit of German planes while planes are going down all around you. Also there is some new guns in the game such as the 30 cal and mg34 that you can carry, a bazooka. Basically as necessary items needed to kick ass. The game kicks ass.


Story: Some guy named Hitler was a dildo and started a war because he was too ugly to get any of the sex0r. THEN YOU KILL ALL OF HIS ARMY.

This game kicks LOADS of ass 10/10





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