Doom 3
Date: Thursday, August 05 @ 20:11:35 EDT
Topic: FPS reviews


HOLY FUCKING HELL, SHIT ON MY FACE AND HIT IT WITH A WEEDWACKER THIS GAME IS AWESOME. A remake of the original doom with excellent everyhting.

Graphics: Clearly this game has the best fucking graphics anyone has ever seen. There has to be atleast 300 million textures. The walls are VERY detailed and it seems like there are new textures in every place you go. The models look a little low poly if you take a screenshot and stare at the shot for an hour like a fucking dumbass, insteas of noticing you wont notice at all when you are jumping out of the way dodging fireballs and blowing his ass away. The animations are fucking awesome and fluent, they dive from one wall to the next and it looks completley smooth. The guns all look excellent except for the shotgun which was a tad bland but who gives a fucking when you shoot an imp in the eyeballs AND HE BEGS FOR YOUR MERCY. BUT THEN YOU ARE LIKE FUCK YOU *BLAM* his head explodes in blood. The blood is awesome and its everywhere. On the human models when you gib it blood flies out and you see the skeleton. The demons disolve into a red ash and it looks awesome. The graphics totally shit on everything and if you disagree clearly you are a shit head. Kind of like the guy at gamespot, he bitched about some low-res textures WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP STARING AT THE TEXTURES. And guess what! You wont notice it looks low res at all you whiny douche bag.


Sound: The sound is completley awesome, the gunshots all sound crisp and have UMPH SO I KNOW IM FUCKING FIRING A GUN BLOWING A GUY AWAY, Not pussy sounds like in Unreal 2. Also the voice acting is all excellent of the marines and every single guy. THe guy at gamespot gave the sound an 8 because he is a fucking dumbass. Clearly i am right, and hes wrong. He probably just said that because OH LOOK HE WENT AGAINST THE NORM and blam more hits because people post it all over the forums.


Gameplay: The gameplay is just like the original dooms which kicks ass. You have a pda where you can get codes and emails and shit for different lockers and other shit. Also you put your gun down and just click on monitors and people to talk to them or use buttons. Then you can run around and fucking blast imps left and right. Blowing shit away, its so fucking fun it will make you pop your testicles and make a drink out of it BECAUSE THIS IS GAME IS SO SWEET IT WILL TURN YOU INTO A FUCKING RETARD. There is awesome weapons such as the originals including the bfg9000, shotgun, plasma, chaingun and some new ones. Also it scares the shit out of you pussies, and of course i never got scared because im too manly. But i knew the parts where you little girls would be scared and have to quit. It fucking rocks.


Story: Some dickhead was doing an experiment and he fucked shit up and opened a gate to hell because he is stupid. So you lucked out and survived and start killing demons trying to do shit for the marines and stay alive and stop it all and most of all just kick ass.

This game kicks ass 9.5/10

Doom III





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