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 | |  | Glad I'm not alone. (Score: 0)
by on Tuesday, February 18 @ 12:39:18 EST
By the 5th or 6th sequence I remembered this shitty game getting favorable reviews and had to double check for my sanity. After looking through a few sites I was shocked that most people had given it 8.5s and even a few 9s (9 point fucking 5 Game Informer!!!? You're better than that!). I nearly smashed my ps3 into little bits in fear of succumbing to whatever disease that's clearly impairing the gaming community's reasoning skills....
Unfortunately being a neurotic gamer I just HAD to keep playing so I went back to it hoping it'd get better somehow. Last night I ran out ways to avoid doing the store missions so now I'm on sequence 9 and still hate it. This time I tried changing my search to "Why Assassin's Creed 3 fucking sucks" and am pleased that the entire world hasn't turned into a bunch of idiots. I suppose I'll risk keeping my ps3 for now, but the moment I start to appreciate "well placed" QTEs or how pretty a cutscence is out comes the hammer.
Anyway... I digress, sorry.
Yeah, fuck this game. Fuck the group of ethnically and religiously diverse people who made it. Fuck me for being too obsessive compulsive to just stop playing such a shitty game. Fuck early American history for being WAAAAAAYYYY less interesting than Italy during the renaissance and fuck Conner whatever-the-fuck-jumble-of-syllables-and-accents:ka for sucking so much more than Ezio. There's more but those cover the sentiment well enough.
All I want to add is that when you have the lantern in the underground the game only uses only one context sensitive button for lighting torches, dropping the lantern and interacting with objects while leaving like a billion other buttons unmapped. I think that's just evidence that Ubisoft hates us all.
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