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Warhammer 40k: Fire Warrior
Posted on Friday, October 03 @ 17:03:03 EDT by Suislide
FPS reviewsWow We got a winner! i looked the screens and thought it looked gay. Just wait until you play the game! The company THQ brings you another great game, the makers of red faction 2 (i wont capitalize the name it sucks so bad).

Graphics: They are how would you say this, oh yes terrible. The graphics suck ass, really big ass. Really big dinglebery filled shit stained ass. Everything is like really blocky. Now i only played the first level and a little into the second. I would have played more then reviewed it but this great game decides it wants to crash. I think its my computer quitting the game by it self becuase it releasizes this game is so shitty that it cant bear to stand it anymore. Character models suck nuts, the enemies look all short and chubby. The graphics basically just suck, suck so bad it hurts. The graphics in this game about equal the graphics in Quake 2, which may i add is from 1997.

Sound: Usually i dont have much to say here but these sounds just plain SUCK! Im talking suck as in "i just got punched in the twat" suck, and thats pretty bad. They all sound like they are 11 KHZ. Oh yeah theres an awesome in-game menu for the sound options. You could change the volume and confirm you want this change. FUCKING INCREDIBLE!

Gameplay: Fucking blows my fat nuts off, you run around and shoot guys in pretty much a straight path. You think you could go another way THEN FUCKING BLAM, an explosion and the path is blocked. The AI is better than HL2's, because these guys will move side to side and hide behind explosive barrles. YES FUCKING GREAT PLACE TO HIDE ASSHOLE, BEHIND AN EXPLOSIVE BARREL. The is complete and utter shit. I compare this game again to Quake 2, the Ai is basically the same. Also there seems to be a huge fucking amount of these explosive barrels. Why the fuck is there so many, who the hell is storing all these explosive shit. One last thing, when i shoot the barrels they explode, BUT if you throw a grenade THEY DONT DO SHIT!

Story: I would like to have learned the story but the game decides it wants to crash at the same point everytime so it looks like i'm not going any farther! The only thing i saw is some loser fucks were getting their shit ruined. Were talking rocket up the poop hole ruined but who cares this game sucks.

Another winner from THQ! The game is called Warhammer40k: Fire Warrior but i like to call it "Cunt." 1/10

Edit: Forgot to add this piece of shit wont let you change controls in-game or the resolution/graphical options. WOW FUCKING SMART THQ YOU CUNT SMACKS. Also to run the fucking config bullshit you need Microsoft .Net hunk of shit, THATS SO FUCKING GAY

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FUCK RED FACTION!!! (Score: 1)
by lacucaracha on Friday, October 10 @ 18:20:26 EDT
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FUCK RED FACTION!!!

Seriously, I hate that fucking game, here's why....

Long time ago (internet time) there was a game called descent. It didn't have internet play built in, although you could play it via a program called kali. Doom, Quake, and descent were the big 3 back then..

Descent had a LOYAL following. To this day you can go on to the kali descent server #170 and still find people playing descent 1 and 2. This game had die hard fans.

Now how does this and red faction come into play???

Well interplay sold the rights to the descent series to a company called PXO I believe. PXO totally fucked up descent by giving us Descent3, which really should have been called "Red faction engine beta" The physics were totally changed, lots of people were unhappy, but loyally bought D3 from PXO.

Some time later PXO said "We're going to release D4 soon!" People were happy and excited. Then they started dropping weird little hints on us..

"In D4 you will be able to jump out of your ship and run around"
"In D4 you will have deformable walls"
"We're not going to call it D4, we're going to call it "Red FactioN"
"Oh Red Faction isn't going to have spaceships, instead you'll have a rocketpack!"
"We're dropping the descent name completely from Red Faction, there will be no "D4" but you should buy red faction from us because we gave you a 1/2 assed version of D3 that everyone hated so much they stuck with playing the non hardware accelerated D1 and D2"

That was the nail in the coffin for the descent series. So fuck red faction.


[ Reply to This ]


Re: Warhammer 40k: Fire Warrior (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Tuesday, December 23 @ 16:54:25 EST
Suislide, you wrote the most funny review I've ever read.
I actually laughed out loud.

Everything you say is 100% true.

I've bean searching for patches and stuff to get this game running.
Now it's working, but I was still searching for a crazy thing called "OPTIONS" -because graphics looked like crap- until I read your review. I thought I had done something wrong, but this game has none????????!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA. How insane!!!!!!

So, for anyone still reading these posts; read Suislide's!!!!

You took every word out of my mouth!

COMPLIMENTS!!


I also call this game; cunt.



oh, yes, and the rating I give this game?

-40k!!

hahahahah!


[ Reply to This ]

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