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VideoGamesSuck.com Forum Index -> Video Games Suck -> Suislide
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Suislide
PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:21 am Reply with quote
meph144
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Joined: May 27, 2012
Posts: 3




I am writing this after I read 3 reviews
Gothic 3
Dragon age origins
Dragon age 2
Game of Thrones
.
Gothic 3 review by Suislide
Quote:
Apparently your guy is such a weak piece of shit a boar coming out of the starting area can kill you. BUT HAVE NO FEAR when you die, your health regenerates and you come back to life

You come back to life only if you fight humans/orcs with WHITE names.Beasts or any other creature that changes its name color to orange or red WILL KILL you.Kind of hard to miss that when fighting a BOAR dont you think?.
Quote:
It has an expansive enviornment as well but its a very BLAND and Boring expansive enviornment, Its mostly a big grassy plain save for a few trees and unless you go to a village


Screenshot from Myrtana: http://static.ztorm.net/media/images/305/3057/305788.jpg

Screenshot from Varant: http://storage0.dms.mpinteractiv.ro/media/2/1541/20167/8332343/5/76644317417-gothic-3-enhanced-edition-retail-dvd-iso.jpg

Screenshot from Nordmar: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/332/3/f/gothic_3_nordmar_end_by_carvess-d33rxz3.jpg

Very bland and mostly big grassy plain you say?I feel the urge to call you a liar mister.. Suislide!
[color=darkred]Lets see what suislide thinks is an amazing and jaw dropping game world(quoted you already)


Dragon age origins review by Suislide

Quote:
The detail provided in these levels is simply amazing. Pretty much all of the cities such as Lothering and the Dwarven city are huge and absolutely jaw-dropping in the graphics area.

Take a look at the (sarcasm) AMAZING ART DESING THAT WOULD GET THE CREATOR A BLOWJOB FROM THE MISS 2012

Dragon age screenshot Lothering: http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/l/505369-dragon-age-origins-playstation-3-screenshot-the-city-of-lothering.jpg

I hope you like what you see,cuz that is all you get in dragon age origins..a couple of SMALL brown cities,with a few encouter maps that the game will starting repeating after a while.Thats for the huge world.
Dragon age is a very good rpg,but certainly doesnt have an outstanding art design nor a huge map unlike Gothic 3 which this guy seems to trash for the things it does best.(I agree that the combat in Gothic 3 sucks).

While in dragon age origins the dull brown maps were jaw dropping in art design they suddenly become a problem in Dragon age 2


Dragon age 2 review by Suislide
Quote:
The city is just a repeatable sea of brown that you run through THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME.

The sea of brown didnt seem to disturb you in the first game.
He thinks DA:O had better armors than Dragon Age 2.
Quote:
Different armors in this game simply look like a blend of stupid generic pieces of sharp metal rather the VASTLY unique different looking armors we were offered in Dragon Age Origins.


If dragon age 2 did something better than 1,these things were The armors and the combat animations(although its easier I like its fast paced feel more than the almost slow motion combat dragon age 1 had..there is even a mod for DA:O for that issue called Faster Combat.Click on the screenshot below to see the rogue armor in dragon age origins.Most of the other rogue armors look simillar.Unless you play a warrior in DA:O you will get the same armor over and over again with only a slight difference while DA 2 has many different ones(and helmets actually look good now)

Dragon age origins rogue armor: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrGnD4B5FjYXxJNFUvdqBDbGJN3hVQeS8NYKywnCN5I7MwnQASEkI4T4MmoA

Dragon age 2 rogue armor: http://pinoytutorial.com/techtorial/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/dragon_age_2_champion_armor.jpg

Quote:
The character models are also fantastic, I jerked off to Morrigan and came all over her digital tits


That says all about Suislide.
I stumbled across this website and after I read a bit my eyes started bleeding.I dont know if all the writters are like this or only this Sluiside but when I read a review I expect to actually find out REAL things about it.All I found in his is fuck fuck pussy ass *lies lies* fuck fuck dick
Gothic 3 enhanced edition review by Berzerker
This guy hit exactly the right spots of g3.So not all hope is lost for video games suck.
Gratz berzerker for not writing a fuckfest instead of a review.

Quote:
Suislide played the original unpatched version of this game for only 15 minutes before he ran into a show stopping bug. Since the original unpatched game took 10 minutes to load, Suislide had a total of 5 minutes playing time and this might just not have been sufficient for His Gaming Greatness to form a true opinion of this game.

If you think this is the way of doing a review suislide.then you should quit.
REALLY.

Game of thrones sucks,but you still couldnt point out the bad..
There are many turn based third person games that play good.They do not require you to hold space for the spell menu to pop up though
Learn to speak your mind.Unless all you can think of is shit pussy dick ass


Last edited by meph144 on Sun May 27, 2012 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 11:45 am Reply with quote
berzerker
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Joined: Nov 01, 2006
Posts: 2350




So Suislide didn't post anything remotely interesting in your opinion? Then you might consider not returning here, because his reviews is what this site is about (and this cozy little forum of course where we all love each other).

Anyway, the reviews here are not to be taken too seriously. They are exaggerated and such, the main idea is that they should be funny somehow. Submit a review of your own if you feel up to it and show Suislide how a proper review is written I'd say. There are many games that have not been reviewed (Suislide does not review all games he plays, and of course he doesn't review games he doesn't play, like most RTS games), no need to limit yourself to new games.
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 12:10 pm Reply with quote
meph144
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Joined: May 27, 2012
Posts: 3




I dont mind exaggerated.I dont mind funny:)
Gothic 3 vanilla deserved trashing.But it had its + as well.
So goes for Dragon age 2.They recycled the maps ALOT,but besides that it was a pretty good rpg compared to other titles.
What I try to say is dont review a game with good combat but that is bad from all other points of view saying that it has bad combat.Thats just not right.Unless you are writing fantasy reviews
TIP: play the game at least a few hours before calling it shit.You can be surprised
I will write a review soon. icon_cheers.gif
Maybe ill stick around the forums..I like the emoticons perhaps icon_cyclops_ani.gif
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:45 pm Reply with quote
Fallout4
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Joined: Nov 14, 2011
Posts: 125




meph144 wrote:
I dont mind exaggerated.I dont mind funny:)
Gothic 3 vanilla deserved trashing.But it had its + as well.
So goes for Dragon age 2.They recycled the maps ALOT,but besides that it was a pretty good rpg compared to other titles.
What I try to say is dont review a game with good combat but that is bad from all other points of view saying that it has bad combat.Thats just not right.Unless you are writing fantasy reviews
TIP: play the game at least a few hours before calling it shit.You can be surprised
I will write a review soon. icon_cheers.gif
Maybe ill stick around the forums..I like the emoticons perhaps icon_cyclops_ani.gif


Dragon Age II represents everything that is wrong with video games and EA/BioWare.

It has no redeeming qualities and the combat looks like an arcade game with its stupid animations. I cried that day when I finished that game and realized they ruined what could have been the best RPG ever.
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 2:38 pm Reply with quote
Pogma9
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Joined: Nov 19, 2008
Posts: 2522




meph144 wrote:

I will write a review soon. icon_cheers.gif
Maybe ill stick around the forums..I like the emoticons perhaps icon_cyclops_ani.gif


One thing to remember, nobody's perfect and also, this forum has no censorship....so you're free to say whatever you wan,t tell whoever you want to go fuck themselves, but if you're to be taken seriously by anyone, you should write a review so we can all take a peak.
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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 2:53 pm Reply with quote
cBox
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Joined: Jun 14, 2011
Posts: 55




Man, you have no idea how to troll. You can't expect us to fall for your disguise of a stupid moron with no taste if you go out and defend a game like DA2 right away. You need to be more subtle about it. You should have started with something more ambiguous and easier to believe, like that you're fan of that new star wars mmo, or at least mass effect or something. You started off good with the gothic stuff though. But still, troll harder next time.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:32 am Reply with quote
meph144
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Joined: May 27, 2012
Posts: 3




Ok so this is you trolling me.
Mario sucks big time.Dont waste your fucking money on this piece of shit.The main character is a monkey..who wants to play a monkey?UGH.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:00 am Reply with quote
Suislide
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Joined: Aug 14, 2003
Posts: 509




Haha. Dragon Age 2 was not a "pretty good RPG" at all.

You crazy.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:02 am Reply with quote
berzerker
A Winner is me!
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Joined: Nov 01, 2006
Posts: 2350




meph144 wrote:
Ok so this is you trolling me.
Mario sucks big time.Dont waste your fucking money on this piece of shit.The main character is a monkey..who wants to play a monkey?UGH.

Yeah, games present a means to escape from normal life. Since for all members here playing as a monkey equals playing as yourself, no-one will want that. icon_monkey.gif
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Suislide
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